Building mindful resilience in our new world

Work-life balance

14 Dec

brunette woman with hair up stands with eyes closed and her face towards the sun

As we approach Christmas 2020 and we count down the final days of the year, I have come to reflect on what a rollercoaster of a year it has been. So much has changed for us all; enforced social distancing, job losses, financial insecurity, fear for our loved ones, and our health. A barrage of media, news updates, and COVID numbers has seemingly started permeating our being, dictating how we live our lives.

The effects have been evident on us all, and our physical and mental wellbeing has been challenged and pushed to its maximum, and for some beyond the edge. And while we are all in the same storm, we are most certainly not all in the same boat.

We have endured so much, we have lost loved ones, our social lives, jobs, income, and sanity! All to protect each other and those we hold dear.

And yet, here we are. With mere days left in the year, we are still doing it, managing to survive, and digging deep daily. We are still supporting and lifting each other up. We are still connecting and finding joy and a new awareness of the simpler things in life in this new world we find ourselves in.

We have proven that we can do it. It may not be easy, but we can do it. We are strong and resilient and we have pushed through so much, despite not believing we had it in us.

To successfully cope with this change, never has it been more important to become mindful of our daily routines, our self-care, and whether we are living in alignment with our values and needs.

There were days within these last few months that I nearly lost the plot; impatience fuelled tears, overwhelming family life, and tiresome homeschooling. Working from home has been forced upon so many of us too. I closed my own therapy clinic for 22 weeks and pivoted my business so fast that my head was spinning like a Tasmanian devil.

But I ask you this question: do you really want things to go back to the way they were?
Really? Do I?

I am sure the answer is yes for lots of reasons. We all want to be with our families and friends, to be able to celebrate special occasions and mourn our losses, and to support each other as we always have. We wish we could play sport and party together around the dinner table, dance at music festivals, hold hands, hug, and kiss. We want to connect and be together face-to-face again.
And to be able to travel! Yes! Yes! Yes!
I want all of that too. And we will get back to that, eventually. Patience is a difficult thing.

2020 has shone a huge light on what is working for me personally and professionally, while also giving me the space to hold a massive magnifying glass over my own wellness and business and how I operate.

Now we are full pelt into the run-up to Christmas, which is going to be vastly different this year. Emotions may be high for lots of us, and a sense of duty can create tension and pressure around family and friends meeting up. We all can focus on the fun stuff, but when we are triggered by difficult emotions or situations, having a plan in advance is really helpful.

Here I would like to share 6 tips that have helped me navigate these last months, and mindfully build my own resilience.

1 - Breathe

Yes, take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now, do it again. And again. Take your foot off the accelerator and breathe. Slow down, and start to pay attention to how you are really feeling. Ask yourself one simple question: what do I need right now? You know the answer, so write it down. Write all your needs down.

2 - Create healthy boundaries

You should create boundaries around everything, including work times, food, drink, relationships, and exercise. You already know where you need them. Set proper working hours and turn off the laptop at 6 pm. Limit or avoid spending time with toxic people. Drive so you won’t have a drink. Prep your food for a couple of days in advance. Hydrate. Go to bed an hour earlier with a good book.

If you are like me and it takes very little to knock you off-plan, get an accountability buddy and check-in with each other on Sundays and Wednesdays to ensure you keep on track. Yes, still plan your fun but also plan your recovery, morning, and evening routines to keep you on track.

3 - Go outside

Move your body, stretch, dance, and sing! Get your woollies and rain gear out, put your runners on, and walk out the door. Get into nature, turn off your phone, and take a mindful walk. When you’re walking, notice the feeling of your feet on the ground and the smell of leaves or sea air. Notice the sun shining through the trees. Listen to the birds and the wind. Be in the present moment.

Mindfulness is not just about feeling awake to all that is wonderful in our world but also about becoming aware of what is troubling us. The more we can accept these feelings as they are and without judgment, the calmer we become, and the better we respond to difficult situations. Mindfulness has saved my sanity this year.

4 - Gratitude

The simple act of expressing gratitude for all the little things we can take for granted, like tea and toast, or a cosy blanket or warm home can drastically alter our mindset. Learn to appreciate the friends you can to talk to, the fact you have running water, that you have Wi-Fi… whatever it is, be grateful. Write it, say it, and express it; you will feel it deeply and it will raise your vibration.

5 - Be open to change

We are all resistant to change and not many of us like it, as it is scary and unsettling. However, nothing ever stays the same. Everything is impermanent, even suffering. This year has shown us that. Think of all the times in your life when things have changed suddenly or unexpectedly - jobs, relationships, loss - and you have persevered. Write them down.

Now, write down all the ways in which you succeeded this year. Forget the negative stuff, just write down every single good thing that happened this year. The kindness you received or gave to others, the fact that some days you showered and showed up. Put them all in your success bank. Keep it somewhere for reference on the days you need the boost, so you can see how fantastic and resilient you already are.

6 - Connect and ask for help

Make an effort to connect with likeminded people who lift you, inspire you, and bring you joy. Finding your tribe in both business and your personal life is central to igniting a passion. New ideas, new people, new stories, and simply being around ‘people like me’ who are also experiencing real challenges in their business and personal lives can bring purpose and optimism.

Sharing and asking for advice reignited my passion, and connected me back to myself and the reasons why I started my own business. Right now, this is happening online. There are so many business networking groups like Digital Women, and We Can & We Will, where you will find the most amazing people and a safe and supportive environment to ask for help and advice.

On a personal level, connecting with family and friends, be that via technology or doing simple things like walking, playing board games, or quiz nights, added lots of light relief to our days. It allowed us to just be, without rushing around making plans and to activities to fill our calendars with.

My wish for you this Christmas is to...