Reframing your thinking
Sometimes when we look at an issue or a problem, we only see it from one aspect. We react to ideas, situations, and suggestions without even thinking and our actions become automatic. But what if we took a moment, and paused, to think if there was another way to consider situations or events?
A few years ago, I broke both my arms necessitating surgery. This unfortunately put an end to my piano playing for a long time alongside my ability to teach it too. Life was turned upside down – I could not wash myself, feed myself or do anything on my own.
Framing your thinking is how we set our experiences to give them a meaning. Our reaction to how we see that event can impact on our response, emotions, and feelings. In my example above, life as I knew it was over – or at least that is what I initially let myself believe. Reframing helps us to see things differently, derive a new interpretation, a new perspective even, and allows us to arrive at a different conclusion. Whether you decide to see something as a negative event, or a positive event will affect how you think and feel about that event.
How do you start?
It takes practise, and lots of it.
For example: you’ve a demanding workload, with a lot of people relying on you. You feel a cold coming on but no matter what you do it will not shift. You carry on regardless because you just do not have time for it. Eventually you become so unwell your GP insists on bed rest etc.
Reaction A
Who will do this?
Who will do that?
How will I tell my boss/client?
I am supposed to be doing X
Increased anxiety and panic follow.
And you probably even question the validity of the advice you have just received from your GP because he/she has absolutely no idea of how pressurised your work is!!
Reaction B
I have been so busy doing for everyone else, look at me now
My body is telling me it needs help I need to listen to it
I will tell my boss/client that the work will be done as soon as I am well
The rest will do me good
Maybe it is time to reassess how I work/what I do etc.
There are obvious differences to both of these reactions, including the impact both have on your stress levels, and although initially the questions in A will come to mind, training yourself to look at a situation so that you can see it from a different angle (as with B) takes time.
How did I reframe?
After a few weeks I realised I was drifting into a very dark place mentally thinking that I would never be able to work again let alone play the piano. Then it hit me – I was doing more than just playing/teaching the piano. I was motivating; leading; inspiring; educating; building confidence and a whole lot more in those that I taught. This was my ‘reframing moment’. This was my ‘reassess the situation’ lightbulb moment. As soon as I was physically able to strike a key on my laptop, I spent hours searching what my skill set could lead to.
My accident may have been just that, but it was a pivotal moment in my life. It led me to study again and train as a Leadership & Executive Coach. I had used my time in bed to look deep inside myself, to assess who I was and what I wanted, and I mean really wanted.
Unbeknownst to myself I had reframed how I thought about what had happened to me. I could have stayed consumed by the negativity of the situation but instead chose to use it to change things.
With the result, my own experience gives me a unique insight when working with clients who also feel that they are lost and unsure of their next step, whether in their personal or business life. My practice now focuses on Menopause, Wellness & Business Coaching because that is where my strengths lie.
Finally
The next time you are faced with a difficult situation, try to look at it from a different perspective. See if you can reframe it and change the meaning of it, because then you can change your feelings and emotions around that experience giving yourself better clarity.
If you feel you’re going nowhere fast or on a constant treadmill, do get in touch. I promise, you are not alone.
